From the Woman’s Side of Things… What is forgiveness to you? To me, forgiveness is powerful. It can change perspective. It can change relationships. But mostly I think it can change your heart.
There was once a video going around Facebook about forgiveness. It depicted a father and son in a jail visitors room; the father behind the glass. The son shows the father a series of cards listing his fathers wrongs toward him. Then he writes on another card, “Father I forgive you.”
Joe Vitale, a contributor to the Secret, says if you forgive you’ll open yourself up to receiving from the universe. This is an important part of the law of attraction, he says, it’s hard to attract the things you want if you are blocked from it.
It seems like a lot of people think forgiveness is for the wrongdoer. After all isn’t it that person who apologizes and asks for forgiveness? But really forgiveness is for the “victim.” Forgiveness is for you.
Forgiveness brings power. It’s not power over someone. It’s a power given to your own self.
Forgiveness brings healing. When you forgive someone, it clears you; allows you the freedom to continue a relationship; allows you the freedom to love. Forgiveness clears your body of all the negative emotions and even possibly the physical symptoms of those emotions. Forgiveness allows you to move on with your life. The other person doesn’t even have to be aware. It could even come posthumous. More importantly it could be forgiving yourself, whether for a wrongdoing you did or for holding a grudge for a wrongdoing someone else did. A good exercise some people find useful is to write a letter to the person often not even sending it, but just to express your feelings and offer forgiveness. I suppose you could even write a letter to yourself if you are the person you need to forgive.
Forgiveness brings peace. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you have to continue relationship. It means you are letting go of the power the event holds over you and taking that power onto yourself.
Forgiveness brings love. Once you clear yourself of the negative emotions that is entailed with holding on to a hurt it opens your heart to receive love — love of yourself.
Who do you have to forgive? A parent? A sibling? A lover? A child? A friend? Offer yourself a gift of freedom. Offer yourself a gift of peace. Choose to forgive. Forgiveness is powerful. You have the power to forgive. I have the power to forgive. I use that power because I choose to live in peace. I’ve experience the other side, the dark side. As a child I was an expert at holding grudges, sometimes not talking to my own dad for days or weeks. Forgiveness may feel like you are giving up your power; as a path of least resistance it can feel like you are giving in. But rather what it really offers you is the power of peace.
Love and peace to you.
The Woman’s Side of Things posts are written by the coach’s wife, Amie Durocher.