Change Process or Decision?

change-architect-sign1From the Woman’s Side of Things… Some people fear change. They try to avoid it at all cost. Me, well, I’m used to change. I moved to a new house, school, and sometimes state almost every year of my childhood. I kept up the trend into my adulthood. I’ll change the furniture around just to have something be different.

But if there is one constant in life, it’s that it’s always changing, always moving.

Before any change which we actually choose, we first start with the acknowledgement something isn’t right. This could be anything from knowing exactly — “I need to stop smoking” — to knowing vaguely — “I just don’t feel right.” In any case we start by seeking change. A move away from pain; a move toward pleasure (or ease).

Some may seek help for the transition. Some could seek help from friends or a counselor. Oftentimes these people will tell you change is a process. But is it? Or does that just give you an excuse to drag it out and not actually make the change?

Perhaps change is really just a decision so change happens the moment the decision is made.

When I decided to stop smoking — I mean really stop — it was an immediate and no going back decision. I had had enough and that was that. Funny that around the same time the same thing happened with a tumultuous romantic relationship I was in. Enough was enough and that was that, over, “caput,” no looking back.

Change doesn’t take years to happen. Change happens in an instant. It’s the results of the change that is a process. The results can be far reaching, going into what one may think a totally unrelated part of your life. That I think can be a fun part of change.

Take for instance becoming a mom. The change was in an instant — the instant of conception. The results were a process — being pregnant, giving birth, taking care of an infant, raising a child and so on. The results were also far reaching — the demands on my time were no longer purely my choice, meeting a girlfriend now takes planning (can I bring baby? do I need a sitter? who is available? can I afford the sitter and dinner? when do I have to be back? etc.). But the fun part was what great entertainment it is to watch the baby or listen to the stories of a 4-year-old. Who needs a TV with that hilarious entertainment in your living room?

Does it take courage to make a change? Ya, most times it does. These days when I have an action to take toward change that will take courage I say to myself, “Ok I’m taking that step onto the fire and I’m walking.” Easier to say when you’ve experienced a fire walk I’m sure. If you haven’t, think of something you did that you thought you never could, realign yourself with the courage you had at that time and take the step/make the decision you need to make.

Sometimes change will happen whether your want it to or not so you might as well embrace it. Let go and see what strange far reaching unrelated places it takes you. You never know it could be the most fantastic ride of your life.

Want to make a change? Make a decision and you make the change in a second. Do I make it sound easy? It doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it. It’s often our fears and belief systems that make it hard (and those can be easy to change too). And… well…. just remember this comes from a girl who lost count of how many homes she lived in after it hit 30.

The Woman’s Side of Things posts are written by the coach’s wife, Amie Durocher.

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